Faking it for family
August 21, 2010, 18:17
This morning he slept in till gone midday. I was up before 9am with the kids. But he was up late last night, he has been working hard and he is ill, so I let him sleep. I have done three loads of washing and drying, done the shopping as well as getting two kids ready for a family party (his family) this afternoon (breakfasting, bathing and dressing), wrapping the birthday girl's presents and writing her card, none of which I mind, but that is what I did while he was sleeping.
When he was still not up at 12.15, I made him a coffee and took him up. I woke him gently. Asked him if he was still feeling crappy (Mmm=yes), asked him could I get him anything (Mmm-mmm=no), told him what time it was (Mmm-hmm=OK) and then kissed him and left.
One he did get up, he did not speak to me at all except the very occasional essential word, he spoke brusquely to my daughter twice, making her cry the second time, and then at the party suddenly became all life and soul, happy, chatty and laughing - even squirting me with a water pistol “in fun” when joining in the kids' water pistol fights. I was not impressed and did not find it funny.
I was quieter - I find it very hard to fake when I'm unhappy. We were given a belated wedding present - a lovely sculpture of a happy couple in love - I tried to say thank you graciously. I had to field questions about how our honeymoon went - couldn't exactly say “Well, he was an arse for most of it,” could I?
Went to collect a friend of my dd1's for a sleepover, he said not a word in the car, shut his eyes for most of the journey home, and is now ensconced in his office, where he has been since we got back, while I took the washing in and put the third lot on the line.
He did manage to make me a coffee - wow!
During the party, I picked up several very subtle body language cues (so subtle only I would notice them) that he would possibly be open to me starting to talk to him - but I thought why should I be the one to open negotiations? If he wants to talk to me, let him talk to me.
I fully expect a comment something along the lines of, “Have you stopped ignoring me yet,” to come at some point during this evening, probably when he starts to get hungry. We shall wait and see.